Wednesday 12 October 2016

Unforeseen Incompatibilities?

We must have observed that during wedding receptions, the MC would ask the couple to cut the cake at the number of children they wish to procreate, and I had never seen a couple that made any mistake. They always cut the cake together at the count of a particular number, meaning they must have discussed the issue of the number of children they want to have. So you'd think it's not a big deal and every couple should have this locked down, right? I thought so too.
Courtesy: violetblues.com

Apparently, this is not always the case. The number of children a couple wants could be a big issue. Imagine the man wants 2 children, whereas the woman wants 5 or vice versa. Usually when the woman wants more, she often finds a way to make it happen, claiming 'accidental entry', which gets the man very upset and puts a strain on the relationship. However if the man wants more and the woman is done, nothing will enter. She'll lock up completely, try all you want but you ain't scoring that goal. 

I know of a couple that has 3 lovely children, but the man wants 5! The woman is done, knowing that the economy is tough right now and they need to have the number of children they can cater for. The man threatened to leave and have children with another woman. See how what seems like a simple issue could become a deal-breaker in marriage? 

Another area where I've seen couples disagree and quarrel over is the issue of disciplining the children. I believe it's normal for one parent to be seen as the mean person and one as the softie (though growing up none of my parents was the softie). However, when couples cannot agree on if and when their children should be disciplined, and the manner of discipline to employ, it can quickly escalate into a big problem, and guess who suffers from all this? The children. 

No one talks about these things when they're talking about compatibility in relationships. We focus on what the person likes, hobbies, etc. when checking compatibility, but we forget some issues that will come up when we're already married. When those issues come up, it then seems we're incompatible. 

We should have serious discussions during courtship; we must not be perfect together, but there needs to be an agreement on certain issues, in order to avoid 'stories that touch the heart' later in future. Don't be carried away by the dates, romance, fun, and forget to discuss these issues and start complaining when you eventually marry and you discover the two of you cannot agree on any issue. 

Enjoy your day and be kind to one another. 
Hugs...



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