It is Not Always About you.

www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

Happy Holidays everyone.

Let me start by wishing our Muslim brethren a happy Eid El Maulud. As you celebrate the birth of Prophet Mohammed, may He bless you and your family with happiness and grace your homes with warmth and good tidings. 

By now, most of us have heard about the tragic event that happened in Uyo, Akwa Ibom state, where a church auditorium still under construction collapsed during an important ordination service which had the Governor of the state in attendance, killing between 25 and 200 people (depending on the news outlet you get your information from).

There has been blames and accusatory fingers pointed in various directions, from the church leader who was supposed to be ordained a Bishop, to the contractor whom a lot of people believe did a shoddy job at the site, etc. Whatever be the cause, scores of lives have been lost,  while others are still nursing various degrees of injury, and people are grieving. 

In your own opinion, is this the best time to gleefully give testimony in church about how one was saved from that disaster? Or start a narration of how you survived a worse disaster? I think not. In my opinion, not only does it make you appear insensitive to the ones that lost their lives or the family mourning, you're also reducing the validity of their grief. Unfortunately there is this innate unhealthy competition among human to always 'up' the next person, even in grief and pains. Why won't you allow somebody grieve in peace without somehow making the event about you? I even overheard some people arguing over who has the most gory pictures from the tragedy; we have indeed lost it. 

Ever been in those situations where you or someone is narrating an event, the next thing someone would take over and narrate similar but more grievous event that happened to him/her. If you had a headache, the person would tell you that headache is small, how what he/she suffers from is explosive migraines. You had stomach ache? they had cancer! You jumped a fence? They'd tell you how they jumped an electric pole and nothing happened to them. There is always a story to make what you've gone through appear less valid, and make the conversation about them. When someone is grieving is not the best time to come out with your own testimony. Let the mourners mourn in peace, don't make their pain about you. Don't strive for the spotlight with the mourners, that is just tragic and distasteful. 

As bad as the tragic event that happened last weekend was, a popular Nigerian actress went online to narrate how delays here and there saved her from being at the venue of the service, while at the same time sending her condolences to the dead, and some people felt she was insensitive in her post. I can understand where the anger is coming from.  Others have narrated how they were saved from burning houses that collapsed, comparing their escape to what happened on Saturday in Uyo. Anyway, if you cannot commiserate with someone grieving a loss without turning it and making it about you, then don't bother. Just keep quiet. It's a never a competition on who has gone through worse in life. We should learn to be more sensitive in our dealings and utterances. 

Enjoy your holidays, and stay safe. Say a prayer for those that died and the grieving families.

Hugs...