Next-of-Kin

Add caption

I was at one of the commercial banks the other day and I overheard a man asking a customer care officer about next-of-kin. I wasn't intentionally eavesdropping though, hehehe... okay, maybe a little. I mean, my ears pricked when I heard him say he was his brother's next-of-kin, and wanted to know the procedure as apparently, the late brother's widow has gone to court to challenge him on that. The bank official told him they'd go with whomever the court approves of. Inwardly, I was quite pleased. 

The issue of whom to make your next-of-kin shouldn't be a big deal, but somehow, as with most things that concern money and property for the average Nigerian man/woman, it is a big deal. Imagine the scenario, you marry a woman whom you go ahead to have children with, you acquire properties and use your brother/sister/mother as your next-of-kin, then you die, leaving behind a wife and 4 or more children. Next thing, your next-of-kin claims everything, and if he/she is not a nice person (few of them are, anyway), they take everything and leave your wife and children penniless and sometimes, homeless even. Shouldn't that make you turn in your grave??

If you ask the men who do this, they'd probably tell you that they do not trust their wives, bla bla bla. What about your children? You do not trust them not to plot to kill you and inherit your wealth too? What business do you have with a spouse you cannot trust to manage your wealth in your absence? We are talking about after you had died here o, not that the woman will take over your business and waste your money while you are still alive. Why won't you trust your spouse to do the right thing with your wealth? How do you expect your children to feed and get educated when you die? I don't understand the rationale behind making your brother or sister your next-of-kin when you have a wife and children. This only happens when you do not love or care for your wife and children, or what happens to them in your absence. The same goes for women too, though this rarely happens. At least the women would use their children as next-of-kin, which ensures that they would be taken care of, financially, if she dies. 

So many messy situations would be avoided if we do the right thing. Seeing families fight their late brother's wife in court over property is just shameful. If you collect that property and wealth, your late brother's widow should starve along with your nephews and nieces?? As a man, you owe your wife and children that protection, alive or dead. Do not make them vulnerable by leaving them at the financial mercy of your brothers and sisters who will likely maltreat her in your absence. . If my brother tries to make anyone not his wife or children his next-of-kin, I would definitely frown against it and make sure everything is handed over to the wife. If she mis-manages it, that is her headache. As sisters and brothers in-law, let us do the right thing. Depriving your brother's widow access to his wealth is pure wickedness, except in cases where you can prove without doubt that she is incapable of taking care of her children, or that she killed her husband. These are rare, but we all know some women are evil. 

Anyway, let there be peace in our homes. Have a fruitful day and week ahead. 

Peace...