Monday 22 May 2017

Time to Abolish Some Cultural Practices

Buenos Días 
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Yea, in the spirit of Real Madrid and CR7😍winning the La Liga last night, I'm going Spanish today (yea, I know he's Portuguese, but still... just roll with me here). How was your weekend? Mine was not good, battled stomach upset all weekend, but I survived and I'm very thankful for that. 

There is a saying among my Igbo people that "ndi nwuru anwu kechaa ikpe, ndi di ndu ekegharia", meaning that if the dead makes a law/rule, the living can reverse it. This brings me to the issue of the day, our cultural practices.

In different parts of the country, there are some cultural practices that the living grew up to meet, which they also groan under the burden of such practices. I will focus on Igbo land, where I am from. It is ironic that in this era of changing times, we willingly accept some changes, both positive and negative ones alike, yet when it comes to cultural practices which have become outdated, we hold on to them.

When we talk about cultural practices, please bear in mind that this is not about idolatry or anything related to the worship of idols. It is saddening to note that in some parts of Igbo and, innocent people are still regarded as outcasts or 'osu', courtesy of an action or inaction of their forefathers who died decades and centuries ago. The children inherit such just by merely being born into such families (as if we had a choice of the families we'd get born into).

It sounds impossible and far-fetched when we hear widows talk of what they go through when their husbands die, especially the young widows. However, I know it is true, asides shaving their hair, the harassment they face from their husband's families are real, especially those mean in-laws (although I still feel the man's immediate family has a huge role to play, as nobody will harass my sister-in-law like that).

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Another one is the high cost of traditional weddings!! Yes! In Igbo land, the list of items to bring, which your in-laws will give you, might make you chicken out of the marriage o! I swear, it is not for the faint-hearted o! Can they do something about that? I mean, these kinsmen and whoever owns those items on the list do not even know my name, or how I got to where I am; why would my hubby and I spend our money to entertain them? The fact that they'd be at the traditional wedding, eat and drink, is not enough? It's annoying to see in-laws arguing over items on the list on the wedding day. Abusive words are hurled back and forth which often leave the bride in tears, and the groom frustrated. I remember my dad telling me that the day he went to marry my mother, her people demanded for a particular brand of beer, while he went with another (probably cheaper, lol) brand. They refused to accept it and insisted he must bring that particular one. I had gone with a cousin to marry his wife, her village women actually came with empty bottles of a particular brand of malt drink, which was different from the one we went with and presented. Of course we had to look for that brand for the sake of peace. Such rifts are unnecessary and end up causing lasting issues between both families. 

These are just a few, and I wonder if it isn't time we do away with some of these cultural practices which favour no one? My daughter who is a leftie is being harassed already to hand things out with her right hand, as according to them, it is against our culture to give  or collect something from someone with the left hand. Says who? When the left hand comes naturally to her? Abeg, make I hear word!! Don't even get me started on female genital mutilation!! If they knew how important the clitoris is, I bet they wouldn't tamper with that tiny, but powerful part of the vagina! It is unfortunate that even the educated ones  still indulge in such terrible practices, so it's not really about being educated. Why in the hell would they mutilate someone's private part like that??

I know the Igbo tribe is not alone in this, but I cannot write about other people's culture which I'm not conversant with. I also believe we can change this cultural practices, one family at a time. I bet it wasn't easy when the first community reduced the mourning period from 1 year to 6 months and even 3 months in some communities, and some abolished shaving women's hair when their husbands die,  but it was done and the norm is spreading across the various states. So, one at a time, we shall get there, but we need to start from somewhere, our families. 

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