Mother vs Mother-in-law

Knowing Is Not Enough; We Must Apply. Wishing Is Not Enough; We Must Do.- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

In other words, faith without work is dead.

So my mum’s been around and I took her to the hospital for some tests as we usually do whenever she comes around, because according to her, once you clock 50 your body starts falling apart, lol. Our visit there got me thinking about relationships we have with our mothers and comparing it with what we have with the mothers-in-law.

My mum comes around; I make her food sometimes (she loves to eat all those healthy things without oil, yuck!), she makes it most of the time. I love my mother dearly, no doubt, but I don’t wait on her hand and foot. I would wake up and go to work, knowing there’s food in the house and she can fix something for herself and eat. At home, I cook, she cooks; I could be sleeping while she cooks, or I could stay and keep her company in the kitchen. At the hospital, she was going round doing her tests and other stuff; I didn’t have to go upandan with her to show that I love her or care for her. That’s how liberal and unpretentious we are in my house.

Mothers-in-law always say they want their daughters-in-law to love and treat them as they would their own mothers. Hmmmm… if I treat my mother-in-law the same exact way I treat my mum, she will most likely think I’m rude and uncaring. All that pretending and constant attention 24/7 is probably why most women prefer their mum to be around them, rather than have their mothers-in-law live with them. If I wake up and not prepare breakfast for my mother-in-law before rushing off to work, she wouldn’t find it funny, I believe; but my mum is fine with it.

The unfortunate thing is that what most women would tolerate from their daughters, they wouldn’t tolerate from their daughters-in-law. A girl can shout at her mother when she upsets her, but the daughter-in-law dare not do that. How real are we being then? Until the mommas-in-law are truly ready to be treated like our mothers, I guess we’ll continue to pretend to accommodate them and pray that their visit is short and they leave soonest.

However, if you’re among the lucky few who have a very good and real relationship with their mothers-in-law, then enjoy it and keep keeping it real. I have told myself that I will keep it real with my mother-in-law, and I intend to do that. No pretence, with me what you see is what you get. If I’m mad, I tell you. If I’m happy, you will definitely see my 32 teeth all over the place. What I don’t do for my mother, I will not do for you. Don’t expect me to wait on you hand and foot like a servant, except you’re bed-ridden. I feel if a lot of young women will keep it real from day one, we won’t have issues; but unfortunately, a lot of us pretend towards the in-laws, until we’re eventually married and have kids, then the fangs come out. No, it doesn’t have to be like that.

Anyway, dassol from my corner today. Have a pleasant weekend, and no pretence. Keep it real always; the world and our homes will be better for it.

Hugs…