Frenemies, Who Needs Them?

"Rain rain go away,

Come again another day

Don't spoil my TGIF moves."

That's been my song all day. Been raining cats, dogs, and humans in Abuja all day, with dark clouds hovering above. I don't envy anyone in the flying into Abuja right now because landing in this city is turbulent enough without the bad weather. Anyway, all da best to them.

When my friends hear me talk of 'frenemies' they always think I coined the word, but it's actually in the dictionary. I first came across the word in one of those TV Series, Friends or Sex and The City, I think; but it has stuck over the years, probably because of what it means.

We have them all around, enemies who hate your guts, but pretend to be your friend. They cause you pain and hold your hand while you cry through that pain. They hate your guts and are deeply envious, but pretend to love you. 

When I hear people complain about how their supposed friend stabbed them in the back, metaphorically, I can totally get where they're coming from. See, I don't believe in having a ton of friends; to avoid stories that touch, I just have few friends, some I've known for over two decades, with varying degree of closeness. We meet people everyday, and your best friend today might not be your best friend tomorrow, etc. Friends hurt us, but we should be able to forgive and move on. However, if you cannot forgive your friend and let things get back to normal, simply forgive, cut the person off and move on. Staying close to that person might bring resentment which when allowed to fester will bring about deeply-rooted hatred, which will turn you into a frenemy.

However, before you label someone a 'frenemy', how good a friend are you? Are you the friend that can be trusted and confided in? Or are you the type that rejoices over your friend's misfortune, the sycophant and the gossip (all friends gossip in one way or another, I know, but if that is all you do when you get together, then it's time to look for new friends). I don't believe in keeping your enemies closer, I tend to keep them far away from me. Life's lessons have taught me that. 

If you have to keep your man/woman away from your friends, it's time to re-evaluate your friendship. Really, why do people do that? Especially women? For some, once they get a serious boyfriend or get married, and they cut off their friends. Could it be that y'all are in the habit of seducing one another's man, and you're afraid they'd do the same to you? Married women don't want to be friends with the single ladies, really?? Why? If you do the above, then you never had those ladies as friends to begin with. 

If you cannot be a good friend to someone, leave. Don't be in someone's life to cause them pain or bring them discomfort. Friends are meant to comfort, advice and be there for you through thick and thin. That's friendship to me. We already have enemies, and we don't need frenemies. I personally will like to know who I'm dealing with, so show your true colours.

With this rain, what's a gal to do this Friday night? Guess I'll just go home, drink and sleep. (Don't ask me what I'm drinking o!) LOL.

Have a pleasant weekend, and be good to your friends.

Hugs.